Coincidentally, Another Update!

As some of you (0/5) have read on our previous post, I had got my old job as a "Copy-Bitch" back. This is a fabrication, as I will not be handling a task such as that.

I will be an auction clerk, recording bids and listening to the auctioneer.

Yes, I actually understand that jibberish.

No, my dog didn't die of SIDS.

No, I'm not gay.

THIS IS SERIOUS BLOG.

Job applications! And an update! At last!

Hey all, sorry that I've not updated in quite some time, it's not that I don't love all five of my subscribers, it's just that I am incredibly lazy, and have been putting off an update for quite some time, slacking off and sleeping and partying, partying, yeah! Anyways! It's time for an update.

Job applications! Or more accurately job hunting. Lately I've been on the prowl for steady work, because working the street corners doesn't bring in enough cheddar, so I've had to resort to working legitimately, and applying at local businesses! You're probably wondering, man, how is he going to try and make this funny? I'm not.. I just wanted you to know that soon I'll have a job (hopefully), and will have even less time to devote to the blog! So expect even more time between updates, less content, no pictures, and probably woefully unfunny stories. Even less funny then the ones you get now...

In other news! Adam got his old job back! He's now a copy-bitch at his previous place of employment, which I'll avoid naming on the internet, but that'll probably die as fast as his dog did. Nepotism struck before, and it will likely strike again, and his dreams will be crushed, but his tears will nurture our young, and the circle of life will continue.

Luckily however we all will soon have steady employment, and then we'll all be able complain and complain about how tough life is for us middle-upper class white adolescents, and how the 'man' is keeping us down. We'll probably resort to reading some Ayn Rand, smoking lots of 'marijuana' as the kids call it these days, and talking about how we need to build some sort of utopia where people offer goods in services in exchange for other.. Goods and services.

Regardless! We are excited to be joining the work force, rejoining the work force, or laughing at the peons joining or rejoining the work-force we're already part of. Man, contributing to society is the coolest! And if you don't do that, then you must not be very cool.

Graduation, parties, and other exciting things!

Hey! We finally made it through to the light at the end of the tunnel. As of 10:00 PM this last Monday, me and all of my friends are officially graduated from high school. We were so excited to finally be able to get out of that school and forge our own paths into the world. So motivated by all of the motivational speeches given (Save for the ones given in an absolute monotone) that we felt that we could conquer the world! Until we got this.
                                                                                               

Sorry in advance for that picture on the left being rotated, but apparently blog spot likes everything to be nice and uniform when you put it on your blog, which is utter nonsense! I want my blog to look like a giant pile of shit so that way it mirrors what I have to write!

Anyways, what kind of tease is that? They gave us our diploma covers without diplomas in them. I shook all the people's hands on stage, hugged my counselors and went back to my seat, antsy to see my brand new diploma, and my dreams were crushed, like so many business cards in the hands of Asian men. Needless to say I had to ask after graduation, "where is my diploma you bastards? If you so much as hurt a hair on it's head I swear I'll-", but they assured us that we could pick them up, if we dared to enter the school that we've loathed for so many many years. Now I actually have my diploma, and I plan on carrying it around with me wherever I go, maybe handcuffed to my wrist like a big briefcase full of Nazi gold or conflict diamonds (and it's obviously more important then either of those things.) And that was graduation! I'm sure there's a video of it floating around on the internet, and I'll be sure to post it here because nobody reading cares, they were either at it, or don't know what the hell I'm talking about, so I can tell from the pixels that they would like to see.

Parties! Parties galore, it's only been two days since graduation and I've already missed two parties so that I could sit alone in my room, brooding, planning.. Apparently there are many more, and there will be alcoholic beverages served at them. I'm not sure how to feel about that because me and my friends are 'STR41GH7 3DG3 FOR L13F', if you speak leet-speak, or in the words of our peers at school 'Fucking losers.' So that'll be good! Right? Right! There will be one this coming Saturday, you can bet your sweet britches there'll be a blog post about it! with accompanying pictures if I can get this damn posting tool to post them properly, without rotations and with all the nudity, vulgarity and everything that you've come to know and love about this terrible excuse for a blog.

In regards to other exciting things.. Uhhh.. We all got presents for graduation! I got a watch, a nice dinner, and lots of pats on that back from my father who now is holding a new record with 1/2 of his children graduating from a high school that is not part of the Oregon Department of Corrections.

Sinking the 8 ball

Recently, I believe the blog has fallen into some sort of lull. Either that or I check for a new post several times a day, making it seem like its been 17 days since the last post. In my attempts to circumvent this, I will be making more regular updates.

As for my partner in crime, Riley, well, nobody really knows;

Since our last day of high school, Riley has seemed like a stranger, as well as Connor, who will be departing for college rather quick like. The difference between the two being that Connor is at work, and logs into Skype, where as Riley has a dlido in his ass while playing WoW or SC2, not bothering to appreciate his friends. But that's a completely different post.

All joking aside, this summer is going to be rather lazy. Finding a job is imperative to my continuing education, and with the isolation of friends between work and dungeon crawling, it will seem to be quite uneventful. Currently, the only REAL thing I have to look forward to is graduation, where I, for the last time, will see my dearest friends assembled as one unit.

If I could use a meme to describe the feelings I have conjured towards the aforementioned events, it would probably be all of them. Rage face, me gusta, okay.jpg, almost every meme could be used to relate to one part or another of my life.

Except for dog fort.

Testing Our Might

So yesterday was the official last day of high school for me and several hundred others, and I must admit, I'm more excited to graduate now then a month ago when I was considering simply skipping the graduation ceremony only to have the school mail me my diploma. Now that school is done however and the actual graduation day is only a little more then a week away, I am buzzing with energy, nervousness, worry, all of the strange concerns that run through my mind on a daily basis are now secondary to something that really is no big deal.

Anyways after school yesterday me and my good friend Connor went over to another good friend's house, had an absolutely mediocre ping-pong championship, failed miserably at trying to coordinate times to when we might go get food, and when we might have to go pick people up, and played the new Mortal Kombat game. For seven straight hours. Imagine my surprise when a game I thought was only really good for watching people tear one another in half, turns out to be just a game that's really only good for watching people tear each other into more then one half. Me and Connor were mesmerized by the display, having never played the game before, and eventually racked up beating the entire storyline save for the last boss, unlocking every single fatality and costume, and finding out that time really does fly when you're screaming obscenities at a large television. I found the night rather reminiscent of a session of games with our other good friend Adam, who's posts you've seen previously, and have been absolutely devoid of swearing, or insanity. Either way, back on topic, every other word out of our mouths was an angry curse at the AI for blocking a special attack, or hitting us in the groin over and over until blood was shooting out of our eye-balls. Eventually it got so bad that Connor had to give up the controller for fear of sending it sailing through the TV, and this started the spiraling decline of my sanity as I fell into the same trap he had, and soon I was nothing more then a heaving mass of flesh on a lazy-boy, shouting about how the god damn Scorpion kept shooting his god damn chain into my god damn throat, or roaring with anger as that cursed Shiva demon ripped my arms off and beat me to death with them, that fat bitch.

Despite our anger at video-games, last night was a fun night, and while I feel a little sick after so much Mountain Dew in one sitting, I feel like it was a success. Now I just need to prepare for all of the upcoming graduation parties I'll be forced to endure, and after last night, my body is ready.

I'll be gone for some of the week but when I get back, get ready for blog post part trois. I advise you begin preparing in advance.

PS, I feel as though the intellectual quality of the blog is deteriorating over time (not that it was ever really that smart in the first place), and that at first it was funny and witty, and now it's just silly, does anyone else feel the same?