There was a post written earlier this week regarding my sanity/blog posting abilities. As you all may be aware, this was an outright fabrication. Everyone who has ever read a single line of this blog knows that I was the first follower, and major contributor to blog content. While this is my first post, I have contributed to previous posts.
NOW, this post is titled "part duex duex" because of the extreme rage that I am displaying in a passive form. Now Riley can shut his shit-licking lips and enjoy some REAL OC.
Also, before Riley makes another fabrication, I am a rage gamer. Rounds of BF:BC2 are constant streams of obscenity, as well as Ultra Meat Man, Age of Mythology, and MS Paint. AOM was promptly uninstalled after I was defeated by AI, on easy, with a 100% handicap. BF:BC2 matches come to an early end after my KDR sinks below 1. That Swedish officer training thing is a giant frustration. If you are not a rage fag, then FUCK YOU. I'M UNINSTALLING MY WEB BROWSER YOU SHIT DICKS.
I HATE EVERYONE. NAMELY RILEY.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Blog Post! Part Duex
I wrote a post earlier that I wasn't happy with so I asked for some criticism from my friend Derek, who responded with "Maybe you should make it not suck so many balls." So here you are, a post that sucks slightly fewer balls then before, but still far too many.
It's memorial day everybody! I hope you've been memorial-ing it up, partying at your relatives graves, or maybe remembering the times they stole from you, and how bad they were as relatives. I was invited to go and assist in placing flowers on the graves of my dead relatives, unfortunately however I have a strange aversion to going to graveyards, not because I don't like paying respects to my relatives, but mostly because there are dead rotting corpses down there, and I don't want any part of that nonsense, a feeling I might add, that I share with my father. I hope, and am somewhat sure that this will pass with time, and when I am grown into a full fledged man, I will go out, like a man, and plant those Rhododendron's all over the resting place of my relatives, friends, and with luck, enemies...
I hope you all had a more memorable memorialization day then myself, me and my father spent it watching John Wayne movies, which I am not complaining about, nor am I disappointed in, but I'm more of a Clint Eastwood fan, mostly because I enjoy watching actors that are not from Iowa, but that's a story for another post.
Another issue that has been plaguing me is my constantly red left eye. I am not a drug user, but I can not tell you how many times I've heard different variations of "Hey are you high?" because I accidentally dropped some soap directly into my eye. If you're guilty of this, here's a quick "Fuck you, I hope you get some obscure disease so it's not all bad, at least now you can be a hipster."
On a completely unrelated note, on request from the same friend that told me that my post "Sucked Balls", I am including the following paragraph in this post:
While writing this I'm currently in a Skype call with some folks, half paying attention, half writing, and something that has come up over and over and over is some sort of Morrowind class called "The Skeletor." and the character that was created around the class named "Butt-Sex" with the description "3==D". The surprising thing about this story is less that my friends are all retarded, but more so that I'm often considered the least mature of all of us. They'll all likely take this as a direct attack on their character, and they'd be right! I love my friends, they're all amazing, even Adam despite the fact that his parent's don't love him, and his dog is dead, but that's his own fault, he deserves it for never once contributing to the blog.
If you've got requests for posts on the blog, please, feel free to comment in the comment box and I'll steal your ideas if their good, and if they don't get posted, obviously your idea was a giant pile of phallic objects, and next time you ought to just keep it too yourself.
My high school graduation is coming up, so I likely won't post anything until after I'm all finished up with school this Friday, but trust me when I'm all done and able to go out into the real world, I will be sure to post wonderfully hilarious posts that you'll all enjoy, I promise. Until then, I love you all, except for Adam. (Who never contributes to the blog.)
It's memorial day everybody! I hope you've been memorial-ing it up, partying at your relatives graves, or maybe remembering the times they stole from you, and how bad they were as relatives. I was invited to go and assist in placing flowers on the graves of my dead relatives, unfortunately however I have a strange aversion to going to graveyards, not because I don't like paying respects to my relatives, but mostly because there are dead rotting corpses down there, and I don't want any part of that nonsense, a feeling I might add, that I share with my father. I hope, and am somewhat sure that this will pass with time, and when I am grown into a full fledged man, I will go out, like a man, and plant those Rhododendron's all over the resting place of my relatives, friends, and with luck, enemies...
I hope you all had a more memorable memorialization day then myself, me and my father spent it watching John Wayne movies, which I am not complaining about, nor am I disappointed in, but I'm more of a Clint Eastwood fan, mostly because I enjoy watching actors that are not from Iowa, but that's a story for another post.
Another issue that has been plaguing me is my constantly red left eye. I am not a drug user, but I can not tell you how many times I've heard different variations of "Hey are you high?" because I accidentally dropped some soap directly into my eye. If you're guilty of this, here's a quick "Fuck you, I hope you get some obscure disease so it's not all bad, at least now you can be a hipster."
On a completely unrelated note, on request from the same friend that told me that my post "Sucked Balls", I am including the following paragraph in this post:
While writing this I'm currently in a Skype call with some folks, half paying attention, half writing, and something that has come up over and over and over is some sort of Morrowind class called "The Skeletor." and the character that was created around the class named "Butt-Sex" with the description "3==D". The surprising thing about this story is less that my friends are all retarded, but more so that I'm often considered the least mature of all of us. They'll all likely take this as a direct attack on their character, and they'd be right! I love my friends, they're all amazing, even Adam despite the fact that his parent's don't love him, and his dog is dead, but that's his own fault, he deserves it for never once contributing to the blog.
If you've got requests for posts on the blog, please, feel free to comment in the comment box and I'll steal your ideas if their good, and if they don't get posted, obviously your idea was a giant pile of phallic objects, and next time you ought to just keep it too yourself.
My high school graduation is coming up, so I likely won't post anything until after I'm all finished up with school this Friday, but trust me when I'm all done and able to go out into the real world, I will be sure to post wonderfully hilarious posts that you'll all enjoy, I promise. Until then, I love you all, except for Adam. (Who never contributes to the blog.)
Friday, May 27, 2011
Blog post!
I'm going to start a series of posts, referred too hereafter as "Blog Posts". They will be posts to the blog, following the same trend as the previous posts have, and that is, content about nothing. Last night a friend of mine read this blog for the first time and laughed, then commented on 'a lack of content'. I thought that was rather unfair considering how long I've had the thing for, but then he explained that while there were posts, and the posts had text in them, the content of the posts followed no discernible trend. I thought this was an interesting post and am now going to continue posting about nothing in particular, and likely annoying everybody by having a blog about a bunch of nonsense nobody cares about.
In other news.. I got a new hat in the mail today! It was shipped rather fast considering the fact that it was only four dollars from Amazon, but now I have what has been referred too as "The same hat that you would see in the artists renditioning of gas station robbers, murderers and those fat people that flash people in the mall parking lot." I might even include a picture! And here it is, hard as it was to upload for me, also.. Ignore that thing in the background with the flowery spelling of my name, if anyone needs to know it's something from fourth grade, sorry that it made it into the picture, but of all of them, I hated this one the least.
I hope you all enjoy it, I likely will not sleep tonight knowing that it's up on the internet, also, as a good friend of mine pointed out, nice headset asshole. Anyways! I'm excited, more so then I ought to be. Even more excited about this article of clothing then I was when I was six and trying to escape the company of my mother so I could go hide in the roundabout shirt racks and scare other shoppers by pretending to be some sort of horrible mythic clothes demon, swatting at their hands as they grabbed shirts or pants or coats or whatever they were trying to buy as if I had eighteen inch razer sharp talons jutting out of my fingertips, X-men style bitch.
Anyways! This is the face of the blog, this is me and I hope you all enjoy staring into those eyes, deep and penetrative, staring into your very soul and sapping all of the strength from within... Or fap too it, whatever you prefer.
In other news.. I got a new hat in the mail today! It was shipped rather fast considering the fact that it was only four dollars from Amazon, but now I have what has been referred too as "The same hat that you would see in the artists renditioning of gas station robbers, murderers and those fat people that flash people in the mall parking lot." I might even include a picture! And here it is, hard as it was to upload for me, also.. Ignore that thing in the background with the flowery spelling of my name, if anyone needs to know it's something from fourth grade, sorry that it made it into the picture, but of all of them, I hated this one the least.
I hope you all enjoy it, I likely will not sleep tonight knowing that it's up on the internet, also, as a good friend of mine pointed out, nice headset asshole. Anyways! I'm excited, more so then I ought to be. Even more excited about this article of clothing then I was when I was six and trying to escape the company of my mother so I could go hide in the roundabout shirt racks and scare other shoppers by pretending to be some sort of horrible mythic clothes demon, swatting at their hands as they grabbed shirts or pants or coats or whatever they were trying to buy as if I had eighteen inch razer sharp talons jutting out of my fingertips, X-men style bitch.
Anyways! This is the face of the blog, this is me and I hope you all enjoy staring into those eyes, deep and penetrative, staring into your very soul and sapping all of the strength from within... Or fap too it, whatever you prefer.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
A constant fear
After having this blog up for just a few days, coming here every day for whatever reason scares the living daylights out of me. I believe it's because I'll come on here and see some new comment from someone shouting about how terrible my writing is, or how absolutely ridiculously overplayed something as simple as a trip to McDonald's could be. I worry about a lot of things over the course of my day, and now every day I get on my computer I feel compelled to go onto what I'm sure will be something swept up overnight like Rebecca Black, or that gentlemen with the remote control enema, and the comment boxes will be absolutely full of people screaming about how terrible a person I am. I know people say that there's no such thing as bad publicity, and I know my worries are wishful at best, and incredibly self-centered and neurotic at worst, but I think maybe posting this will ease my concern. Anyways I noticed while looking at the stats today that a lot of people (probably me looking at statistics of myself reading my own blog) from the US are reading this stuff, but even more surprising are the number of hits from both Canada, and Germany. While I'm not making this post to promote the blog, nor is it to try and force you into promoting it, I am curious to figure out how people chanced upon this thing. I understand how ridiculous this must seem considering the fact that I am posting this on the internet publicly for anyone and everyone to see, and am now asking how you found my private journal, and why are you in my god-damned computer you pinko commie fucks?
Anyways I guess what I am asking is if anyone happens to read through this post (doubtful), please leave a comment, insulting if you like, or something as simple as "I'm not a robot, stop worrying that robots are reading your blog." so I know it's not just some strange fetishist stalker, masturbating and breathing heavily while reading my writing and envisioning all of his strange deluded fantasies of finding my car wrecked along the highway, dragging me to their house and forcing me to stay and write more blog posts whilst keeping me ill, before turning out my ankles and forcing me to beat Kathy Bates to death with a small pig statue.
And lastly, I would just like to say that I really do love the internet, and everything about it, the good and the bad. Never before in my life would I have published anything substantial, but this website is encouraging me to get my thoughts out there for people, hopefully, to laugh at, or to at least find slightly entertaining. I love you internet, every portion of you, from image boards to forums, from pointless flash games to Japanese chicks with dicks, every single facet of the internet wholly embodies what the world should be like; A place to share ideas without fear of any real reprisal, be they good, bad, saint-like or diabolical, I am incredibly happy that I live in an age where things like the internet exist, and are making everybody, talented or not into their own little Michaelangelo.
Anyways I guess what I am asking is if anyone happens to read through this post (doubtful), please leave a comment, insulting if you like, or something as simple as "I'm not a robot, stop worrying that robots are reading your blog." so I know it's not just some strange fetishist stalker, masturbating and breathing heavily while reading my writing and envisioning all of his strange deluded fantasies of finding my car wrecked along the highway, dragging me to their house and forcing me to stay and write more blog posts whilst keeping me ill, before turning out my ankles and forcing me to beat Kathy Bates to death with a small pig statue.
And lastly, I would just like to say that I really do love the internet, and everything about it, the good and the bad. Never before in my life would I have published anything substantial, but this website is encouraging me to get my thoughts out there for people, hopefully, to laugh at, or to at least find slightly entertaining. I love you internet, every portion of you, from image boards to forums, from pointless flash games to Japanese chicks with dicks, every single facet of the internet wholly embodies what the world should be like; A place to share ideas without fear of any real reprisal, be they good, bad, saint-like or diabolical, I am incredibly happy that I live in an age where things like the internet exist, and are making everybody, talented or not into their own little Michaelangelo.
Monday, May 23, 2011
A red letter day
Today something happened that has never happened before in the history of all mankind... Connor Hollis drove his motor vehicle, through the local McDonald's drive-through. This may not seem so significant to the lot of you, but to us, his superb driving ability was displayed when he pulled up to the drive through, a good fifteen feet away from the window, with no money ready, and still arguing over what he'd ordered with us. Not only were we unprepared for the purchase, but also, as I find is a pet peeve of many a drive through worker, we were listening to "Dead-Mau-Five" at a disturbingly loud volume. After awkwardly fumbling around for my wallet I proceeded to pay for all of our meals, and was only offered the remaining change in back payment. We parked in a nearby parking spot and put on the band "Sex Bob-Omb", apparently a reference to old Super Mario games, and a band also referred too as "Manchester Orchestra", a reference to I don't know what, as far as I could tell they were sad about how trendy they are.. Either way this was a first for our good friend Connor, and we were glad to have experienced "popping his drive through cherry" with him. He seemed a little too excited to have two men with him for that experience, but as, what I like to think of us as, his best friends, we were happy to ditch important classes, tests and such, to go to McDonald's with him and lose a few of the happiest years of our lives to high cholesterol, sodium, and the other poisons found inside of their crispy chicken sandwiches.
Friday, May 20, 2011
I'm an aduuuuult
So yesterday was my eighteenth birthday, and wow.. There was quite the party for my mother, and brother's friends to come over and enjoy! Not that I'm complaining because some of my friends chose not to come over on their own merit, not that I'll name any names, Connor, but I felt a little alone with a big crowd of people I didn't really know that well. Though there were few people that I did know, it was still a fun celebration and I am thankful for everything that everyone that came did for me.
On the flip-side of all of this, never before have I encountered more drunk people shouting about how I'm now 'legal' and I need to join them at the titty bars for what my brother referred too several times, and so tactfully as "a pap-smear on my face." I'm not really sure how to feel about that situation, other then the fact that I get free strippers sooner or later, which is okay I suppose, but my brother and his friends are not the people I would like to go anywhere with, ever. They're the kind of people that get a friend really drunk then leave him at the bar to stumble around and make a fool of himself in front of everyone until closing time when he must shamefully stagger home. Either way I'm not looking too forward to going to an establishment referred too as Jiggles, though I'm not sure that's the real name, for fear of having an erection in front of strangers, and having to wash crabs out of my eyebrows, not that the two are related, or synonymous.. At least I hope.
Anyways I have some cool pictures I might slap up on here in a separate post, and there's even one of me holding a knife as menacingly as possible, though menacing for me, looks a little silly.. But it doesn't matter anymore! Because I'm now street legal, and I have rights! Time to go buy cigarettes, porn, guns and whatever else you can buy when you're eighteen!
On the flip-side of all of this, never before have I encountered more drunk people shouting about how I'm now 'legal' and I need to join them at the titty bars for what my brother referred too several times, and so tactfully as "a pap-smear on my face." I'm not really sure how to feel about that situation, other then the fact that I get free strippers sooner or later, which is okay I suppose, but my brother and his friends are not the people I would like to go anywhere with, ever. They're the kind of people that get a friend really drunk then leave him at the bar to stumble around and make a fool of himself in front of everyone until closing time when he must shamefully stagger home. Either way I'm not looking too forward to going to an establishment referred too as Jiggles, though I'm not sure that's the real name, for fear of having an erection in front of strangers, and having to wash crabs out of my eyebrows, not that the two are related, or synonymous.. At least I hope.
Anyways I have some cool pictures I might slap up on here in a separate post, and there's even one of me holding a knife as menacingly as possible, though menacing for me, looks a little silly.. But it doesn't matter anymore! Because I'm now street legal, and I have rights! Time to go buy cigarettes, porn, guns and whatever else you can buy when you're eighteen!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
The beginning of the end
I guess I'll start this off with what I imagine this blog will likely be full of, namely, random stories, snippets of information and maybe even a few videos or things of that nature.
I suppose the best way to begin this blog is to explain it. To start, the title comes from a situation in which me and a few friends were discussing different proposals for a game that was never going to be made at any point in time. The articulate young gentleman that I am decided that I would voice the opinion that maybe we should base it in the latter years of world war two! Unfortunately, in my nervous, awkward attempt to get out what I thought might be a good idea, I put on my best, deepest imitation of Michael Buffer, and announced quite dramatically that "The Year Was World War Two!" Thereafter followed several very long moments of silence until everyone burst into uncontrollable laughter, and I skulked off to my corner to silently berate myself for my own stupidity, however, it spawned within our group a sort of new meme that grew and grew until I couldn't stop hearing the year was world war two from anyone I knew, save for my immediate family. Anyways this morning when I was thinking about creating this blog, that was the name I decided upon, and here the blog is now. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it, and hey, maybe if I'm really lucky I'll start to get subscribers, or maybe even some followers or something.. Who knows what the future holds for us my friends! Adventure! Stardom! A veritable clash of the titans!
I suppose the best way to begin this blog is to explain it. To start, the title comes from a situation in which me and a few friends were discussing different proposals for a game that was never going to be made at any point in time. The articulate young gentleman that I am decided that I would voice the opinion that maybe we should base it in the latter years of world war two! Unfortunately, in my nervous, awkward attempt to get out what I thought might be a good idea, I put on my best, deepest imitation of Michael Buffer, and announced quite dramatically that "The Year Was World War Two!" Thereafter followed several very long moments of silence until everyone burst into uncontrollable laughter, and I skulked off to my corner to silently berate myself for my own stupidity, however, it spawned within our group a sort of new meme that grew and grew until I couldn't stop hearing the year was world war two from anyone I knew, save for my immediate family. Anyways this morning when I was thinking about creating this blog, that was the name I decided upon, and here the blog is now. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it, and hey, maybe if I'm really lucky I'll start to get subscribers, or maybe even some followers or something.. Who knows what the future holds for us my friends! Adventure! Stardom! A veritable clash of the titans!
Just a quick heads up
For anyone reading this for the first time who maybe doesn't know, this is just going to be a random blog about really nothing in particular, with the overarching purpose being me and my friends journey through the internet, it's culture, and everything that we do as far as our 'wacky' antics go. I think that the following is a good indication of how things are going to go, as soon as I clicked on the title bar, the following drop down menu appeared
Now I don't have herpes, nor would I advertise it if I did, but I also don't have my own private computer. It's looking like things are already off to a great start.
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