Monday, May 30, 2011

Blog Post! Part Duex

I wrote a post earlier that I wasn't happy with so I asked for some criticism from my friend Derek, who responded with "Maybe you should make it not suck so many balls." So here you are, a post that sucks slightly fewer balls then before, but still far too many.

It's memorial day everybody! I hope you've been memorial-ing it up, partying at your relatives graves, or maybe remembering the times they stole from you, and how bad they were as relatives. I was invited to go and assist in placing flowers on the graves of my dead relatives, unfortunately however I have a strange aversion to going to graveyards, not because I don't like paying respects to my relatives, but mostly because there are dead rotting corpses down there, and I don't want any part of that nonsense, a feeling I might add, that I share with my father. I hope, and am somewhat sure that this will pass with time, and when I am grown into a full fledged man, I will go out, like a man, and plant those Rhododendron's all over the resting place of my relatives, friends, and with luck, enemies...

I hope you all had a more memorable memorialization day then myself, me and my father spent it watching John Wayne movies, which I am not complaining about, nor am I disappointed in, but I'm more of a Clint Eastwood fan, mostly because I enjoy watching actors that are not from Iowa, but that's a story for another post.

Another issue that has been plaguing me is my constantly red left eye. I am not a drug user, but I can not tell you how many times I've heard different variations of "Hey are you high?" because I accidentally dropped some soap directly into my eye. If you're guilty of this, here's a quick "Fuck you, I hope you get some obscure disease so it's not all bad, at least now you can be a hipster."

On a completely unrelated note, on request from the same friend that told me that my post "Sucked Balls", I am including the following paragraph in this post:

While writing this I'm currently in a Skype call with some folks, half paying attention, half writing, and something that has come up over and over and over is some sort of Morrowind class called "The Skeletor." and the character that was created around the class named "Butt-Sex" with the description "3==D". The surprising thing about this story is less that my friends are all retarded, but more so that I'm often considered the least mature of all of us. They'll all likely take this as a direct attack on their character, and they'd be right! I love my friends, they're all amazing, even Adam despite the fact that his parent's don't love him, and his dog is dead, but that's his own fault, he deserves it for never once contributing to the blog.

If you've got requests for posts on the blog, please, feel free to comment in the comment box and I'll steal your ideas if their good, and if they don't get posted, obviously your idea was a giant pile of phallic objects, and next time you ought to just keep it too yourself.

My high school graduation is coming up, so I likely won't post anything until after I'm all finished up with school this Friday, but trust me when I'm all done and able to go out into the real world, I will be sure to post wonderfully hilarious posts that you'll all enjoy, I promise. Until then, I love you all, except for Adam. (Who never contributes to the blog.)

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